Friday, May 19, 2006

Lies , Lies and More Lies !!

Only two people on this planet can come up with enough lies in one day.
1.A person who is defending oneself against charges with respect to 9/11
2.An MBA ass-pi-rant on the day of a GD PI process.

Why I say this ??
The first one is obvious (Or the person is Zacarias Moussaoui )
The second one is what I will try and justify. You may comment on the validity of the justification later bit don’t bullshit me by completely negating it.

Question: Tell me about yourself, Son.
Answer: I am a confidant person Sir (Even though I piss in my pants when I come on stage)Answer: I have good interpersonal and communication skills Sir (Yesterday I smacked one SOB who made fun of me…calling me “Jaat re Jaat, Solah duni Aath”)
Answer: I am a team player (as if I care)

Question: Why do you want do to an MBA, Son ?
Answer: (Words coming out of the mouth) An “Education in Management” (and not MBA, eh?) would provide me with skills and tools (Ha!!) required to be succesf…Cut the crap!!
Answer: (In the evil mind and the truth) I wanna do an MBA cos:
1.I couldn’t land up with a decent job, so I’ve nothing to do.
2.MBA is the easiest way to make quick money.
3.I hate my job even though I say to you that “I am loving IT”
4.I am a loser as far as the opposite sex is concerned.Maybe during my MBA , I would patao a bimbo !!

And the icing on the cake.And this actually happened with me at the an interview !

Question: What are the things you look, Beta, before applying to an institute??

Had I told him what I am gonna write next, I would have cleared that GD PI too (another call in the Kitty and one unlucky chap demolished)

Answer: With my genuine-est face forward! Sir, I look at the infrastructure, faculty and everything else and ……blah blah blah……..The bottom line is that I would say Placements as my least priority!!
The answer I gave: My first priority is placements , Sir……….Long sannataa………….the panelist blasts me…. Is this an employment exchange that we have opened here??I say I would be lying to you if I said that I was not looking at placements…. AND I also consider faculty etc
(The truth is…. balls to the method of teaching and the number of books in the library). The building must look cool and the placements must be whooping!!
And this is a fact. Every query I came across at forums regarding an institution, the first one would invariably be “What are the placements at **** seniors ??"
Some ass-pi-rants are more specific (probably Military people). They ask “What are the Finance placements at ****??” and “What is the median and average salary at ****??"

My question is: Is this not hypocrisy??

The panel knows you will lie (As a matter of fact they expect it), you lie and they select the best liar. I know this is what marketing people will support but still. Where are the so-called Ethics and Mission Statements of institutes gone??
I have read enough bullshit on various forums on How the panel can perceive you (Hell, Even I said this on PG!!), How experienced they are at this but however hard I try to go with the common sentiments, the rebellious me says to me that the GD PI process is all a big farce (at least to some extent). Its more like Pro Wrestling (WWE style) where every one knows that’s its fake but still they play along.
If you are the lucky dog on that day, you would get the bone or else all you can do is whimper. This Tamasha of a 8 min GD and 10 min interview cant be called a “thorough selection process”.
Hell , my ex girlfriend couldn’t understand my fundamental traits in four long years of courtship ! How do I expect expect this selection panel to know me in just 8 minutes???

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

My two cents on the issue..ever since i started preparing for gd/pis,i knew what a farce the whole thing is..what i hate the most is that these coaching institutes train u with the same staid answers..your idols have to be the dhirubhias or narayan murthys..y??But the irony is that even i ended up giving these tailor made,oh-so-oft-repeated answers to the panelists..coz at the end of the day,what matters to me is my admission..but wht i fail to understand is that why are B-schools(with the exception of a few)looking for clones??